Here We Go, Another Post About Beginning Again
From the Not Your Grandmother’s 70 March 2022
I felt this post was very timely, so sharing it again.
How many times have you decided to begin again? Begin a new career? Begin a more healthy life? Begin your best-selling book? Begin a new hobby? There are so many things we might want to begin again. Well, to quote Nike—JUST DO IT. Easier said than done. Right? I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t always work.
So many times in my life, I wanted to begin again. Maybe more than most people. In my adult life, I have lived in 20 homes! I just counted, and that’s what it is. I started the count when I was 20, and a new bride and number 20 brings me to my lake view. Careers? I’m not sure how to count. Let’s just say a lot. However, I have been in my current career twenty-five years. Two states but the same career.
The pandemic has caused many people to reassess their lives. What is really important? What do I do now? I didn’t get into the bread-making mode. I did learn to love Zoom. (no shoes, sweatpants, and sports bra) I thought about all the ways I would begin again. I thought I would begin again in both Januarys of the pandemic. Birthday? First of the month? Monday?
Distraction. What gets in the way? I will start as soon as I unload/load the dishwasher. I will start when I get the living room re-arranged. Oh, I need to respond to emails. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Wait a minute. Where did the morning go?
Today I picked up Julia Cameron’s Book- The Artists Way and the follow-up—are you ready for this? It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again. The message I have been preaching! It is a twelve-week program. Twelve weeks! I looked through both books and the companion workbook. I never made it past week three. So do I begin at week four, or do I start at week one? I think the message is START NOW.
The Time Machine Question
(From the Archives of Not Your Grandmother’s 70, October 2018)
What would you tell your younger self? Ah, the time machine question.
I was recently challenged to write about what I would tell my younger self. Obviously: “Keep writing!”
I wrote as a young girl. When did that stop? Probably when my mother read my biographical journal and made fun of it. So younger self:
DO NOT STOP WRITING BECAUSE SOMEONE DID NOT APPRECIATE WHAT YOU WROTE
I was so excited to take journalism in high school. I learned to write – who, what, and why for the first paragraph. I learned a little about typesetting. (How quaint.) However, I did not stay with it. Why? The teacher did not like some of my mannerisms and suggested journalism was not for me. So younger self:
DON’T LET SOMEONE ELSE’S OPINION STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
Marriage, teaching, motherhood, divorce, mid-life. When did I stop writing? Why? Then, at last — law school. Law school is all about writing. Complex, challenging, REAL writing. I even wrote a law review article. Great practice, even if it was not published. Actually, it was quite prescient, and I took a stand. As I recall, it was something about defining a “close relationship” and could include an unmarried partner. Not bad for 1995, is it? So, younger self:
TAKE A STAND AND WRITE ABOUT IT
I passed the bar and opened a law practice. Passed another bar and opened another law practice in a different state. Even though bar exams involved a lot of writing, it is not the creative writing I craved. That budding writer was still dormant.
One day as I was building my new business, I received a sales call from a local newspaper. They offered me the opportunity to write a column – an advertorial I learned. You know — the one you would get at the bank or the car wash? I jumped at the chance. That column jump-started my writing. I wrote a monthly column. People came into my office with the column in hand. I got a lot of business. And I was getting great feedback about my writing.
After a few years, that newspaper folded —literally. By then, everyone had websites, and my columns easily transferred to a blog on my website. That led to joining a reticent bloggers group which was the start of many writing classes, retreats, and ongoing groups. I then officially considered myself a writer. I even published a book. Younger self: Why did you have to be 60 before you started writing?
YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO BEGIN AGAIN, AND YOU CAN REINVENT YOURSELF AT ANY AGE
Now it is your turn:
WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF?
Why I Speak Out
From the September 2015 Archives
Causes, campaigns, elections. Everyone has an opinion. Or do they? I am dismayed at the number of people who seem to be anti-having any opinions or at least think you should keep them to yourself. Stay quiet. Keep your opinions to yourself.
“I DON’T TALK POLITICS; YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE’S MIND.”
“DON’T BOTHER TO POST YOUR OPINION ON FACEBOOK – NO ONE CARES.”
I BEG TO DIFFER.
I do believe we can and should shine a light. We can make a difference. Whenever I feel that it’s no use, I remember an incident from my earlier years where someone had the nerve to confront me about something I had just said.
It was the early 60’s. I was in college, and John Kennedy was running for president. We had several students who were active in politics and had display tables in the student union building. As I walked past a display table of campaign materials for JFK, I made some uninformed sarcastic remarks. I don’t even remember what I said.
Still, it was a regurgitation of the low-information folks that comprised my family and neighbors. I lived in a blue-collar neighborhood where racism and religious intolerance was rampant. My people were intolerant of different races, different nationalities, Jews, Catholics, and about anything else that was made for “us and them .” My comment was a repeat of the neighborhood ladies’ gossip. The Kennedys were, after all, Catholic. Jackie Kennedy came from the so-called “high society .” This couple represented everything my family and the neighborhood ladies held in disdain. I made a smart remark about how the campaign was keeping her hidden.
A nicely dressed, very polite young man approached me. He was the kind of young man I was desperate to meet and impress. Oh, yes, I had impressed him all right. Impressed him with my ignorance. In a charming but authoritative manner, he explained why I was wrong. He politely pointed out that Mrs. Kennedy had a high-risk pregnancy and needed to rest and maintain her privacy. The blood rushed to my head. I was mortified. He saw me as a stupid blonde freshman, and I had proven the point. Never again!
I resolved to become informed. I followed the campaign, read news magazines, and did all I could to no longer be the dumb blonde. Not only did I learn to be more informed, but I also learned that just one person speaking out can make a difference. That young man changed my life and changed my way of thinking.
I think of this often as I listen to folks I perceive to be ignorant. Perhaps I can present information that has an impact. Someone might actually listen. I believe it can happen if we do it with respect. I don’t have to get in the fray, but I can educate. I post the link to the Snopes review when someone posts something I know has been clearly debunked. I joke about having three strikes, and you’re out of Snopes’ rule. I can’t do anything about the people who believe Snopes is run by some vast conspiracy. I probably won’t influence many people to think differently, but I hope we start the dialog. A respectful dialog.
Probably more important is what I call “preaching to the choir.” I feel it is essential to let others know they are not alone, especially when they have presented well-reasoned opinions. I will share their views, and I am especially honored when they share mine.
Perhaps that will give that person the courage to confront a dumb blonde who has the potential to learn.
Navigating Travel On Your Own
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What to Do When Your Life Sucks
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Day 3
At a turning point: so I will no longer be in my 70’s; but, boy, that was a lot of fun!
A Boxing Match Births a Career
Day 2
Going to law school and finding direction at a boxing match.
Why a Blog?
Day 1
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I don't want to be disparaging to old people. I just don't want to be one of them. If you are reveling in being old, go for it. I choose not be. So here are some more irreverent ways not be old. TECHNOLOGY Please don't run from technology. You learned how to use...
Why do all the “How to Look Fabulous at Any Age” Articles End at 50?
Glamour, Vogue, W, Cosmopolitan, Savvy. We expected it of them. But MORE -- the magazine for mature women? They all do fashion and makeup articles for looking good at any age. Really? ANY age? Rarely do they even go to 60. As the baby boomers are now in their...
Say Good Bye to Sixty
Six months ago I started this blog with the idea of memorializing my countdown to the end of my sixties. I added one more post shortly after the first when I found my mentor and writing coach had pushed me out of the nest by publishing my post to her 800 nearest and...
OMG I’ve Been Outed
Feel the fear and do it anyway. So they say. What do they know anyway? It usually takes a good friend to push you into the water, or off the couch. I have just had a friend give me that push. I have been outed. For some time I have been tinkering around with...
Not Your Grandmother’s 70
"My financial plan only needs to go to seventy because that's all the longer I plan to live" A financial planner quoting a client I was quite taken by this comment from a financial planner sitting on a panel with me on retirement planning. It was a...
Thank You, Gloria Steinem
But you don't look ________(that old) Gloria Steinem is one of my heroines. She came into my life at just the right time. When she turned 40, it was unheard of for a woman of such years to admit her age. She did. People kept telling her that she didn't look forty....
Welcome to 2011 — The Year the First Baby Boomer Turns 65
Yesterday the first baby boomer turned 65. I'm ahead of the curve. I'm not exactly a member of "the greatest generation". (Never mind that I was born in the wrong county for that). I'm apparently five years older than the oldest boomer, yet that is where I feel I fit....
Karin Quirk