I took a walk on the beach to find my purpose and guess what happened?
Today I took a walk on the beach in hopes of finding a solution to a problem I had been wrestling with. I did find an answer but it was not what I was expecting. And the result is a lesson that might just apply to other situations.
I am working on a project and was struggling with the structure and answering questions, like any good project manager: What is my purpose? Who is my client/audience? And finally to outline the scope of the work and set timelines.
So I walked on the beach. I enjoyed the sun, the breeze, the fresh air and the sound of the waves. And suddenly it hit me — I had no purpose, I had no objective and I certainly was not thinking about who I was doing it for. I was simply enjoying a walk on the beach.
As I was totally lost in the experience I realized that I had lost my landmark. The beach shore looks different from the opposite direction. I was lost. I had lost my objective. I had no plan. I was hopelessly lost and would never find my way back to the cottage. Nonsense. Of course I would get back, eventually. You can’t get lost when you have no destination. I was merely taking a beach walk and enjoying the scenery, the sensations, the air. Walk a little further and just enjoy. Of course, my landmark gazebo popped up out of nowhere and I was back on the path to the cottage. My home for today.
So what was my objective with the beach walk? To enjoy the moment. To revel in the senses. To breathe and ultimately relax.
And so I solved my problem. My project is to enjoy the creative moments without worrying about the objective, the audience, the outcome. Just do it for the love of doing it – like walking on the beach. Eventually you will find home.
Enjoy.
Finding Spiritual Advisors in Unlikely Places
Spiritual advisor, counselor, guru, therapist, resident philosopher, teacher – all terms for someone who gives you guidance mainly by listening without judgment, perhaps interjecting just the right words of wisdom. Many people pay for such guidance but most of us find them in the most unlikely places.
My “advisor” happens to be my hairdresser. Always listening in a nonjudgmental way but occasionally calling me on “my stuff”. Of course he didn’t call me on my stuff until he knew me better and he found I was open to his taking on such a role. He will share with me a book he just discovered that he thinks will be of interest to me. Once he gave me a CD of some lovely inspiring music. I always leave his shop with some new perspective.
I started looking around to see who else fills these roles. I found that a lot of people rely on their hair dresser for such counseling and some of my friends tell me that their massage therapist often fulfills this function. One of my friends found that her massage therapist was able to reveal hidden emotions just by the way she held her shoulder or turned her head but often it was the equivalent of talk therapy.
If you judge by movies and TV shows, it would appear that bartenders often play this role. I wonder if this is true. Do today’s bartenders really exist in places where “everybody knows your name”. Is there such a thing as a local pub where people discuss their deepest thoughts? I wonder. Maybe this is worth an exploratory adventure.
Some of these encounters might be very brief. I have had brief spiritual counseling by a checker in the grocery store. Brief but a lesson was there. Coffee shops? Not my experience in the bustling Starbucks of today but perhaps some have found an inspirational barista. Years ago I frequented a coffee roaster. They insisted they were not a coffee shop but everyone would hang around there anyway until the owner reluctantly added bar stools. Philosophy was definitely handed out. One day when someone asked the clerk how she was doing she replied: “I’ve got my health, I’ve got the Lord and my car runs.” That gratitude statement has served me over the years. Spiritual guidance in the coffee shop.
As I contemplate this idea, it occurs to me that we can find guidance most anywhere if you take time to truly interact with people. The hairdresser, barber or massage therapist is holding you captive for a set period of time. There is nowhere else to go. Nothing else to do. So you engage.
What if you make it a habit to engage more people? The person in line, the receptionist at your next appointment, the grocery clerk? They each have their own wisdom. All we have to do is tap into it.
Be open, listen. Engage. Find your spiritual guidance in an unlikely place.
Class Reunion Time
Why would you go to a high school class reunion? Unless you were class president, homecoming queen or a cheerleader, high school was probably not your favorite time in your life. All that teen age angst, all that never quite belonging turns out to be a common thread in many lives. Some me people would rather eat ground glass than relive those days. Right? 
Ah but when we are talking 30, 40 or 50 years ago it’s different. You have an opportunity to see in one room a bunch of people who are your age and who had the same cultural and historic experience you did. You see the different paths they have taken and maybe get an insight about the path you did not take.
Class reunions are a great time to take measure of your life. Didn’t turn out so bad after all. After this many years, the posturing is gone. We are who we are and isn’t it funny.
My class had 600 students. It has now been FIFTY-FIVE years. Most never left town. Most seem to be with the same spouse they married right out of high school. It seems like the majority but then aren’t these the folks more likely to come to the reunion? Where are the others? Did anyone hit the big time? No billionaires, movie stars? We seem to be pretty ordinary mid America.
So far I’ve only been to breakfast. Maybe 40- 50 people exactly the same age. No hiding here, everyone knows you are over 70. However, 70 doesn’t look the same on everyone. The faces are less familiar now. Partly because memory fades and partly because we do look different. Yet after engaging in conversation, the person comes through. The eyes, the expressions, the personality shows through. Suddenly everyone remembers their home room teacher or the algebra teacher. This morning was the initial dance. The opening act. Tonight will be the banquet. Nothing fancy, mind you. No formal attire.
As we keep saying, showing up is enough. We are still above ground and that seems to be all that counts.
Stay tuned for part Deux- The banquet.
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Karin Quirk