Who Are Your Muses?
(As a verb, to muse is to contemplate something. As a noun, it means a person — especially a woman — who is a source of artistic inspiration.)
I am a writer who spends more time thinking and talking about writing than actually doing it. I have a writing coach, a woo-woo yoga lady, a physical therapist, and several zoom groups, and I have been enjoying a creative writing class through Bellevue College. I am going on a writing retreat and creative arts camp where I will practice my art. Have you noticed? Coaching, retreating and talking about writing. When do I write? BINGO.
Now I am committed to a 21-day writing challenge. I am already behind, being only on lesson two, and the class is on lesson six. We are told it is OK to take time and miss a few days.
That would mean I can shelve it with the dozens of workbooks from previous workshops. I am going to do this. I completed lesson two last night. It is called “automatic writing.” No, not an automatic pen or keyboard. Automatic as in write and be open for inspiration. And it came. My muse did arrive. I did get inspiration!
I want to write about my mentors.
When people ask me about my writing, I usually say it’s like Erma Bombeck or Nora Ephron. Here are some snippets of their writing.
Erma Bombeck:
“Seize the moment. Remember the women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”
Nora Ephron:
“A successful parent raises a child who grows up and can pay for their own psychoanalysis.”
“And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.”
“Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.”
“My point of view happens to be faintly cynical or humorous—and that’s how I see things, and that’s how it comes out when I write it. It is not anything I am conscious of, though. A piece about a “heavy” subject can be written a little bit light, so the piece doesn’t seem quite as heavy. You’ve mainly got to trust yourself to write how you feel about something.”
See why those two are my muses? “…a woman who is a source of artistic inspiration…” Yes, I am inspired, and those Muses woke me up at 4 am, practically screaming at me to write. You can find many quotes online. So now I am up? Muses, take over.
My goal is to inspire you.
Yes, you can start a new career whatever your age. Yes, you can take that trip you’ve been dreaming of even though you will go alone. Yes, you can go to a spa all by yourself and get renewed. Yes, you can get up and face another day.
That is my goal. I share with you that I don’t always meet it. There are days I do not want to get out of bed and face another day. I shudder to think I do this; one should not waste a day at my age. Shall I share with you what my kitchen looks like or the laundry? Boring. Right?
But human. Isn’t that what this is about? I share with you the triumphs and tragedies. Well, not so much the tragedies.
Not on Facebook anyway. Isn’t that where everything is sunny? Do you get a case of FOMO? I sure do. Are you on a riverboat on the Rhine? I’ve done that. Or are you with the love of your life and your family? (I miss that.)
That’s it for me for today. My timer of required writing time just went off. Muses will appear another day. You are welcome to share mine.
Who are your muses?
What do they tell you?
Do You Do What You’re Good At?
It is funny the memories that stay close to us. Many years ago when I was teaching sixth grade, and during a parent-teacher conference, the dad asked me to tell him about his daughter’s weaknesses so they could focus on improvement. I felt so sorry for that young girl; she was so talented in so many areas and yet her dad wanted to focus on her weaknesses. I wanted to cry out, “…no, focus on her strengths…foster her strengths.
This came to mind as I was discussing this topic with several mature friends. We are of the age where we could forthrightly state what we are good at and what we were not. No judgment, just focus on what you are good at. Someone else can focus on your weaknesses. In this conversation, I was willing to admit that housecleaning is not my strength. This was a very difficult admission. Shouldn’t we, as women be good at housecleaning? After all, how hard can it be? I found I was carrying shame from my ex-in-laws who judged me by my housecleaning skills. Which, admittedly, were lacking. I let that judgment rule my life for a long time. How hard can it be? When I was willing to let this go, I was always delighted to come home to a clean house that someone else had cleaned. A clean house I wasn’t able to achieve. Let go of the guilt… the “shoulds.”
I was able to discuss my strengths. My accomplishments. I thought about those certificates I have hung on my wall to remind me who I am—educated and accomplished. But that also does not represent who I am. I was able to state clearly that I am an accomplished listener. Listening is not just staying quiet and humming, ah-ha. Listening is really understanding the emotion behind what someone is telling me and then giving them feedback on what I just heard.
I love when a potential client tells me they feel so much better after talking to me. And not one of them has ever seen my less than perfectly clean house. What are your strengths? What are you willing to let go of that’s not your skill set? I love that term—skill set. You don’t even have to say you are not good at something. Just say “That is not my skill set.”
Settling for Enough
I was participating in one of those visualization/meditation exercises, where I am in a garden contemplating what I wanted. What’s next? I think about a book I am reading: Why Bother by Jennifer Louden. (https://www.amazon.com/Why-Bother-Discover-Desire-Whats/dp/1989603122).
I thought about the long list of places I want to visit where I live: Golden Gardens, the Arboretum, and the Botanical Garden. What is there that is so appealing? Flowers, trees, beach. I could sit on a bench and write. Or, I could write in a nice restaurant. Maybe I will venture to one of the islands in Puget Sound.
Suddenly a chapter from the book came to mind. The chapter was on “settling”. No not that kind of settling—like you don’t deserve better. Settling as in settle for what you already have. Take a pause. Smell the roses so to speak.
Why do I have to get in my car and travel to locations miles from my home when I have it all right here, within walking distance? I am between two beach parks. A beautiful marina/hotel center with an art gallery, spa, and wonderful restaurants and coffee shops. It is less than three-quarters of a mile. The entire boulevard is lined with flower beds and trees.
Then there is the lawn. My building has a large lawn right up to the water with a beautiful view of water, and mountains. The summer boating and paddleboard activity is fun to watch. This is the lawn I sat on with a realtor when I was looking for a place to live. I said, “can you make this happen?” And she did and I did. Now I see the boats, the lake, and the mountains right from my home office. During the height of the pandemic, we held ladies on the lawn. Bring your own beverage, snack, and chair. Social distancing outdoors kept us sane.
So I think I will settle, thank you. For now, anyway. I can walk along the beach, write in a coffee shop, sit on a bench and admire the flowers. And best of all, I can be the lady on the lawn. I can take my glass of wine and watch the water and shoreline. I can sit on my own balcony and watch the sunset.
Yes, I think I will settle. I have discovered “enough” —for now anyway.
Have you thought of something in your life you could settle for right now?
#Beach #Hobbies #KarinQuirk #QuirkyLife
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Karin Quirk