WANT TO LIVE LONGER? BETTER? TRY FACEBOOK. SERIOUSLY!
“Oooh, I would never do Facebook – it’s dangerous!”
Walking across the street is dangerous, life itself is dangerous. OLD is about not trying new things. My purpose in these musings is to help folks from being OLD. (OLD is the opposite of the wise sage we intend to be as we explore the new territory of life facing those of us who have crossed into the territory of the new 70 and beyond) Today’s lesson: Think Facebook.
“Facebook is too complicated” Learning new things can be complicated, but learning new things keeps you from being OLD.
“I’m worried about privacy”. There are privacy settings you will learn how to use. You may want to consider being a little more open, though. The millennials and younger are far less concerned about privacy. Certainly use discretion but you can be a little less shy.
So why am I touting the benefits of Facebook?
SOCIAL CONNECTIONS
Every study I have seen concludes that social interaction is essential to living a longer life. Facebook keeps you in touch with your world and opens you up to getting to know people better. No, you do not just sit on your couch with your laptop and make friends. You go out into the world and meet people and then stay connected with them on Facebook.
Every time I come home from a social event I find additional Facebook friend requests. Once, at a party I recognized a name on a woman’s nametag. I approached her with “According to Facebook, we should be friends”. We connected and she is now a friend on Facebook but also someone I can connect with socially.
Yesterday accepted a friend request from someone I don’t know. A definite No no? Not really. I saw we had about 20 friends in common and from the list I could tell which of my circles she inhabits. I will be following her posts and when we are at the same meeting next week I will be able to approach her and we will have commonality.
Remember those great folks you met on vacation? You promised to keep in touch but other than the occasional Christmas letter you’ve lost contact. I am still friends with people in met in the Grand Canyon, aboard a Panama Canal cruise and even on a China trip.
DEEPEN YOUR CONNECTIONS
I have several friends I don’t see often. We keep talking about getting together to catch up, but we don’t do it as much as we would like. We keep up with each other on Facebook and when we do see each other we don’t have to spend a lot of time catching up. She knows about my trip to the Grand Canyon and I read about her visit with relatives in Texas. We were able to get right in to deeper conversation. Our Facebook friendship really does strengthen the real friendship.
FILL YOUR CALENDAR
Each day I have a list of events from which I can pick and choose. Most are of only casual interest and I file it away as nice to know even though I will not be participating. On the other hand, I become aware of an interest shared by several of my friends and I choose to attend. I have also posted events myself and I am tickled at the responses I get. I have become so accustomed to sending out invitations by scheduling events that I have found it challenging to include my non-Facebook friends. Mailed out invitations? How quaint. Your even invitations can be private and go only to those you select.
I also have started several groups that communicate via a “secret” group. No one but those who have been invited to the group can see the posts. We send each other reminders, updates and encouragement knowing that only the group members will see the message. I also belong to a couple of on-line book clubs. I’m not giving them a thumbs up yet but I may consider a smaller group of people I already know.
KEEP UP WITH FAMILY
My favorite part of Facebook is becoming a part of my family’s life. I see my grandson eating spaghetti or playing at the water park. I learn about what my daughter and her husband are interested in and learn of their activities. I can ask about these activities and opinions when I see them without having to grill them about what’s been happening in their life. I also have become friends with some of their friends. Younger friends really help you not be OLD.
CREATE NEW CIRCLES
I belong to a number of private groups on Facebook. Many I have created myself. Those groups include a group of wannabe writers (Hi, Writers’ Salon), my spiritual community, lawyers groups, and several accountability and support groups. Most of these people I know in person but some are virtual friends. One group I call “Girlfriends’ Potluck” and every now and then I do a shout out and schedule a potluck.
MY CHALLENGE TO YOU
Chances are if you are reading this, you are on Facebook. Would you like more help on creating groups, privacy settings or other issues? I am happy to help. I am even planning workshops for small groups in various communities. Let me know if you are interested.
Remembering Fifty Years Ago
November 22, 2013.
Of those of us alive in the United States, there are three events that will forever be “where were you”. They are Pearl Harbor, the Kennedy Assassination and nine eleven. Those who remember Pearl Harbor are now in their late 70s and beyond. Those of us over 55 can remember the other two and can vividly recall where they were on those truly infamous days.
November 22, 1963 I was a young officer’s wife at Little Rock Air Force Base. My husband, the history major, got me interested in current events. We went through the Cuban Missile crisis, which was a scary time when you live on a Strategic Air Command base. I always watched the presidential press conferences; I became interested in the civil rights movement. (A pretty traumatic time for a white girl from Spokane Washington living in Little Rock Arkansas) We all watched the televised White House Tour with Jackie Kennedy. Friends were joining the Peace Corps and we were all pretty starry eyed and idealistic.
That day I was at a lunch at the Officers’ Wives Club. Someone approached us and told us the president had been shot. I thought she was joking and waited for the punch line. The look on her face let me know there was no punch line. One of the other women and I drove home in silence listening to the radio. I continued to hold out hope that it was not as bad as the news reports were indicating. When we got to my driveway my companion, a catholic, gesticulated the sign of the cross. This chilled me as I recognized she was acknowledging something I could not yet bring myself to believe. He would be alright. This could not happen.
I hurried into the house to watch television in time to see the now immortalized scene of Walter Cronkite removing his glasses. If Walter said so, then it must be.
The United States came to a standstill for next several days. Everything closed down. No television shows, everything was solemn. Even our neighbors on the base, who had shown little love for the President were in shock and saddened. Some talked about how even though they did not agree with the politics of this President, they were saddened by the death of a family man and felt compassion for his widow and two small children. Many of our neighbors had children the same age.
We were glued to the television when Lee Harvey Oswald was shot by Jack Ruby right there on live television. We watched the funeral procession with young John John saluting the carriage carrying his father. We were all in various stages of trauma.
None of what I am telling here is new. Our younger generations grew up with these facts and it’s all been repeated over and over again this last week in the 24 hour news cycle. How does one convey the trauma, the feelings, the utter dismay. We are now accustomed to violence, murder, unthinkable acts. Not only was I young, but our nation was young. We were optimistic, we were hopeful. We had a president that inspired us to be better than we thought we could be.
In later years our jaded selves learned more. The man we admired had faults, was human and certainly not as healthy as we thought. But none of that mattered. Our dreams, our ideals were shattered. There would be many more assassinations, riots and violence and the scourge of the Viet Nam war. We were no longer young and idealistic.
Now we are no longer young. Some have never regained the idealism of youth. But for some of us, the dream lives on.
Ageism or Sageism?
The question for today: How to impart wisdom to those following behind without sounding like a know it all grumpy old person.
I started this blog when I celebrated my 70th birthday. My challenge for the BIG birthday was a two week trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. My birthday cake is the cover photo. Today I have another birthday. A little more quiet this year. I’ll save the next big blow out for the Diamond Jubilee. My challenge for this year is to actually keep this blog going. So today we begin.
The subtitle is “Alternative to being a senior citizen”. By that I mean that I want to encourage people to think differently about being a “senior citizen”. My preferred term in “Sage”. Being a sage means passing on your wisdom to the next generation. My challenge is understanding the difference between being a sage and just a batty babbling old lady. What is important to pass on? What wisdom do I impart?
Each generation wants to find its own way but does that mean they are unwilling to learn from the past? I hope not. I have been watching Mad Men with a neighbor. We started with season one which was set in 1960. The furniture, clothing and mores are very accurate. As we progressed through the series (we are now in season 5, set in 1965) I realize that the show represents my adult years. I was 19 the year the show begins and now we have reached my early married years. The question my friends ask is “Was it really like that?” Yes, yes it was.
Yes, when I came to Little Rock Air Force Base in 1962 the local department store did have a “white ladies rest room”. Yes, women had to ask their husband’s permission to do anything and you could not have your own bank account. Career? OK, as long as you are a teacher, a nurse or a secretary. (I was a teacher)
I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis, both Kennedy assassinations, the march on Washington, the civil rights bill and saw the effects of Title 9 on women’s athletics. I sold bracelets for fund raising for the Equal Rights Amendment and I met in women’s “consciousness raising” groups.
I hope the next generations continue to build on what we have accomplished. I hope they don’t just want to discover it all themselves. I would like to be an active voice of the past helping people — men and women — find their way in the world and helping us build a brighter future.
Will you join me on this voyage of discovery?
No Results Found
The page you requested could not be found. Try refining your search, or use the navigation above to locate the post.
Karin Quirk